Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
