he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Randomize
