Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
