Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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