What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
