i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
