All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
