I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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