Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
