Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
