Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
