need another drink. this is the easiest way
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Randomize