we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
