um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
