So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
