I skipped work to stalk him.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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