So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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