I hate all girls vehemently.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
the night ended with taco bell and tears
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
