Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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