I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Randomize
