someone owes me an orgasm
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
