you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
