Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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