found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i think i have two assholes
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
