we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
My Sexting was not on an AP level
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize