Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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