my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
