Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
