@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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