Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
