"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
