Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
