dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
