Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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