why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Randomize
