and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
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