ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
