Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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