dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
