After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
