Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
