oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I could have mohawked her pubes.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
