I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
