No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
