i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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