Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
