and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I understand Curling. That high.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
