he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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