once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
