I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
the condom got lost in my hair
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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