FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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