Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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