I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
