so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
