it was like his penis was on wheels.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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