would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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