I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
