You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
