: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Did I show you my penis last night?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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