He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize