I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
