She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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