I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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