She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
