He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
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