I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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