this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
