So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
