I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
