i just google imaged poop.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize